Oasis of Love? December 14, 2008

The annual Oasis of Love will soon be held once again —

Oasis of Love — what a nice picture to conjure. An oasis is a presence of water and plants in a desert. So an oasis of love must be something which transcends the spiritual realm. It must be a refuge of those whose faith have dried up by reintroducing it to the real fountain of LOVE himself — GOD. I wonder if the Oasis of Love was able to live up to this ideal….

I have been employed here for six years and within that period of time; I haven’t been to any Oasis of Love gatherings. Oh, there were always those “checking of attendance” chuchus and “being asked to explain why one did not attend” blahblahs, but who cares? I am Catholic, but I haven’t made myself a member of the Oasis of Love — neither do I have plans of being a member in the coming days. My school head says it’s compulsory, I’m sorry but I beg to disagree.

Why?

The 1987 Constitution of the Philippines declares: The separation of Church and State shall be inviolable. (Article II, Section 6), and, No law shall be made respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. The free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship, without discrimination or preference, shall forever be allowed. No religious test shall be required for the exercise of civil or political rights. (Article III, Section 5).

There’s more …

Article 2 of the 1987 Constitution of the Philippines declares separation of church and state. Article 3 forbids the government from passing any law concerning religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, guarantees free exercise of religion and forbids the use of any religious test for public office. Churches and religious institutions are tax-exempt. No public money may be spent in support of any religion. The teaching of religious classes in public schools is permitted with the written consent of the parent so long as provided there is no cost to the government.

My non-Catholic colleagues and I plan to report to school on that day, since it is a working day. But with what I have read from the Constitution, is it really fair to hold it in a school day when DepEd is a government agency and it is a religious activity?

I am not against religion and moral and spiritual growth. I just hate seeing those saintly looking __________  gathered together —

The reason for the reaction started years ago …

I remember when as an adolescent living in Ozamiz City, there were religious barangay organizations known as GSK’s (Gagmayng Simbahananong Katilingban). Each week, these small groups would gather for prayer meetings. But instead of the prayers and reflections, instead of God’s glorification, the attendees would criticize the members who weren’t present. The practice went on for a few months … then I started refusing to attend. I couldn’t see any point in hypocrisy, I am sorry. I know God doesn’t enjoy it one bit, either.

Anyway, no matter how much other people claim godliness and religiousness, in the end, the best judge of character, good works and clean heart will never be those religious bigwigs and the spiritual trying hards who talk and act as though they are the most learned (pronounce: ler-ned) where spirituality and religion are concerned, but the God of Fairness, Justice and Love.

I am not religious…never have been, never will be. But I can boast of my faith. Being religious doesn’t necessarily mean faithfulness anyway and faithfulness can’t also be manifested by being religious….

Responsible Parenthood??? December 12, 2008

Halfway through the priest’s homily a few months ago as  I was attending mass, I felt the urge to get out.  If you think it’s the homily that made me want to get out, the answer is yes.

It’s all about the bill in Congress entitled the Responsible Parenthood Act of 2007 and how it is supposed to punish the poor for having more children…that pregnancy, if this bill will be approved,( with the statement that contraceptives will be considered essential medicines), shall be considered a disease. That contraception is not pro-life and so on and so forth.

Of course, all of us share different views and I am not against the Church on this matter because the viewpoint of one priest doesn’t necessarily have to mean the view of the entire priesthood.  In a manner where clash of opinions and ideas do arise, it is also expected that there will also be some forms of disagreement that will arise, but hopefully, something that wouldn’t lead to social discord.

Personally, I view the Responsible Parenthood Act as a desperate means of the legislators to control the population explosion.  I know it is not morally upright, but economically, it is the most sound solution.  We are faced with a situation where diminishing resources are to be divided among the millions of citizens.  Food shortages, unemployment, rising prices of commodities — these problems are faced by everyone everyday, but the average Filipino doesn’t even realize that these problems have something to do with the population boom.

The priest further stated that some provisions in the Responsible Parenthood Act are good and he stressed on which he thought were detrimental to the “poor”, so he said. As I listened to him state his views on the issue, I realized the bias to suit and justify the claim of the church.  He said that because the poor couldn’t produce quality citizens, they are, therefore, not allowed to have children. I couldn’t believe that the legislators meant for the point to be taken that way and I am not sold out to his justification because everyday, being a teacher in a public high school, I see the ill effects of irresponsible parenthood — parents bringing into the world children that they couldn’t even support.— children who have potentials, but who have become despondent and hopeless because of the dysfunctional family they are in. Those who are well off have lesser children compared with the poor who has an average of 5 children whom they can’t even send to college and whose necessities they couldn’t even meet.  I have students who come in late for school because they have to fish for their daily consumption — students who need to absent themselves  from their classes because they have to harvest coconut, harvest corn, harvest rice, do menial jobs so they can help support their family because their father is a drunkard and their mother is always gambling.  I have a student who, just this month, dropped out of school because she has gotten pregnant.  I have had students in the past who graduated pregnant.

This isn’t an issue about whether we are pro-life or anti-life.  I am pro-life, naturally and I consider abortion a great sin.  But it is also a sin to bring in children into the world only to make them suffer.  I am not in favor of contraceptives either. In fact, I am not using contraceptives — because I have a responsible husband who plans for the welfare of the children that we bring into this world.

The priest made a big issue about the fact that sex education should be introduced starting from Grade V until Fourth Year.  He further claims that because it is a subject, then, it must need a practicum.  I couldn’t help but blow my top while listening to him.  Of course, it isn’t meant that way — he just stated it that way so that Catholics will have a reason to fight the bill. For me, it is a necessary means to educate our youth about human sexuality and reproduction because many have gotten pregnant and many have gotten their girlfriends impregnated because they had the wrong information about the matter.  When children ask about sexuality, the natural reaction of conservative parents is to scold and nag and brand their children as prostitutes or something of the sort — or we mislead them by talking about the birds and the bees.  The result is that, some young girls who get pregnant have the wrong notion that they couldn’t get pregnant the first time they have sex and so on… too many fallacies that need to be corrected.

The priest stated that the best way to educate children and to keep them from engaging in fornication is through inculcation of Christian values by the parents, but I haven’t seen this happening.  Gone are those days when virginity and chastity among girls are most revered and upheld.  Gone are those days when the boys are the ones doing the chasing.  And gone are those days when our girls are kept within the safety of the home when dusk falls. I have seen this happening everyday because I see this in my students.  I have seen the morality of young women crumbling down to an irreparable state.  So who’s mistake is that?  The mistake of the legislators again?  We are counting on the parents, but unfortunately, it’s the parents who  have become instrumental in destroying the morality of their children.  We have unfortunately come to a stage where we have proved these line of a song:  THERE’S A DANGER IN LOVING SOMEBODY TOO MUCH.   Parents have given children too much freedom, have spared them the pain of struggling to learn to do things on their own, have provided every whim and luxury to the point of raising shallow children who have much knowledge on earthly things but whose spirituality is lacking… I could go on and on, but I know it’s the only thing I can do. What hurts me is the fact that I could be doing the very same mistakes these parents have done because I am an absentee parent myself.

I also have children — children whom I have to entrust to other people because I need to work to survive…. perhaps, this is the reason why our young children are morally lacking — it’s because they have parents who could supply them with everything they want, but who couldn’t feed their spiritual and emotional hunger because they are busy making ends meet.  I have children who, just like the generation before them, are faced with the challenge of being morally upright in an immoral world.  I couldn’t assure success.  I could only pray and ask for guidance because I am but a human being who is bound to make mistakes…

I know that Reproductive Health Act of 2007 is not the solution to the problem.  But I also know that the Catholic Church’s strong negation isn’t an answer either.  But perhaps, being what it is, an institution of faith which uphold morality, the Catholic Church can do a lot to solve this problem which has arisen from moral degeneration.  Perhaps it should start preaching on a more personal level — on a level where the parents could get to understand that the family is the only hope of the transformation of the youth so we can hope for wholesome citizens someday. — citizens who will bring in children into this world responsibly.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am a Catholic and I am staying that way.  I just felt the need to write this today.

This Is What I Love December 11, 2008

Have you ever felt the breeze gently caressing your cheeks, it’s invisible hand offering a feeling of comfort? Have you listened intently to the sound of falling rain and felt some old feelings rise to the surface once again? Have you looked around you and felt the awe at the beauty that surrounds you; the magnificence of God’s creation that is all yours to enjoy for free? The saying we meet so often applies to this situation…”We often take for granted the things we always see…”

In this fast paced life that we live in, we most often tend to forget that we are surrounded by beauty. We are too caught up in our pursuit of wealth, power and prestige and take for granted the breath taking and captivating beauty of nature. We are driven by different forces or pushed around by sometimes stellar yet unreachable ambitions and forget that our existence is not only limited to the acquisition of worldly materials and human acclaim. Oh yes, once we have ourselves looked upon as powerful and mighty, we feel a sort of jubilation…an empty triumph maybe, because at last, we have reaped the fruits of our perseverance. But if we look deeper into the innermost recesses of our hearts, can we really claim to be truly happy? Can we truly say we are at peace and content with the material things we possess? Can real happiness be equated with a fat bank account and buying everything our mercenary hearts so desire? Can all the riches in the world ever compare with the simple joy of feeling the peace of being one with the universe?

I love humanity… I love my brothers and sisters and would want them to experience the simple joys of living…not the hurry of the materially satisfying existence. I love to think that no matter how impossible, all of us will do some introspection and some reflection to ask ourselves how we will honestly feel if all of the beauty around us will suddenly perish before our very eyes … in place for all the power, the wealth and the prestige. I love to think that with this humble composition, I can make a difference — even a tiny impact on my reader’s lives…

And this is what I love…

Life’s Seasons December 11, 2008

There are times when we feel happy; when we feel that everything we have ever hoped for has finally been laid on our platter. These are times of rejoicing, my dear friend, because God, in all His generosity and love, has blessed us and has answered our prayers. Happy times are times of praising the Lord who has provided us with everything we have ever needed — and the added bonus of giving us the things we want to possess so we can live a life of comfort. But happy times are not always spiritually fruitful times. When the flood of obstacles starts to recede, the distance between the soul and its Maker becomes wider. There are moments when, too engulfed in the small victory of acquiring the “something” which took us a few years of hard work to produce, we forget to say a simple “Thank you” to the One who has given us life.

There are times when we feel sad. These are the times when a plan has not worked out according to how we thought it would. These are times when we have lost something — or someone — and we think that life just isn’t worth living anymore. These are times of accepting that sometimes, all we can ever do is look up to the Father in faith, not in understanding — for there are things we can never understand no matter how intellectually gifted we are. These are times of faithfulness, my dear friends. These are times of holding on to God’s faithfulness — or this might be God’s wake-up call to us that we have been looking too long adoringly at the things and persons which are proofs of how blessed we are instead of looking up with thankfulness and gratefulness to the One who has blessed us with all that we enjoy.

There are times of confusion…times when we feel at a loss as to where our lives are leading to; times when we have it all and yet we haven’t felt the fulfillment, the contentment, the triumph which we have expected to envelop us as we sip the wine of our success. These are times when our hearts feel the emptiness — the searching for something — or for someone we don’t know about. Could it be our souls trying to tell us it’s about time we reintroduce it to its Maker? Could it be that time when God has touched our hearts and told us, “I have been waiting for you” … and instead of looking at Him straight in the face, we look the other way instead pretending that we did not hear Him?

There are times of indifference. These are times when we just don’t care anymore; times when we are weary of all the false gold that blinds us with its fake brilliance. But aren’t times like these a time to rejoice? For it is in these times that we get to recognize what’s real from what’s not. Times of indifference are the times when we should reflect on the course our lives are leading, when we set new goals and foster new friendships.

Yes, my friend, our lives go through seasons because of a reason — GOD. The happiness fades to make way to sorrow — for can we appreciate happiness if we haven’t known how it is to be sad? The confusion … the indifference … these are seasons we should all go through because we are alive. And as we go on living the lives we have chosen to live, the cycle begins over and over again … until finally, our souls find peace in the waiting arms of its Maker.

We Can Paint With All The Colors of the Wind December 11, 2008

Too many senseless violence has been happening all over the globe . For what reason? For a lot of different reasons — religions, ideologies, cultures, way of life, philosophies — which supposedly should have contributed something good to humanity. The things I have mentioned aren’t evil. It’s just sometimes, fanatical followers distort what has been fundamentally laid as something humane.

Why can’t we just create harmony amidst our diversity? Isn’t it that the guitar, having 6 strings with different musical tones, can still create a powerful harmony of sound that can move the heart? Can’t we set aside the PRIDE at the thought that we are better than the rest and just live with each other and for each other?

This song has been a timeless favorite of mine. The first time I heard this sung by Vanessa Williams, I was moved by its lyrics and reflected on how nice it would be if all of us, citizens of this planet, can finally paint with all the “COLORS OF THE WIND”.

COLORS OF THE WIND
(performed by Vanessa Williams)

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or ask the grinning bobcat why he grinned
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once never wonder what they’re worth

The rainstorm and the rivers are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we’re all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or let the eagle tell you where he’s been
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind

How high does the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you’ll never know…

And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
Need to paint with all the colors of the wind
We can own the earth and still all we own is earth until
We can paint with all the colors of the wind….

Feeling Weary December 11, 2008

I just have to blog about it or I’ll snap… I feel tired and weary and sleepy and yet sleep eludes me. I feel emotionally spent. It seems that everything I have done ever since I can remember have been directed at other people’ s welfare … leaving me drained to the ebb … financially and EMOTIONALLY.

It’s the day after the fiesta and father’s abuse of the beverages has finally paid off… he wouldn’t tell me, but I could tell he is not feeling well. He drank without taking in food for the whole day for two days and today, he has been lying down for half the day. I am appearing stoic and unaffected in front of him, but deep inside, I am worried as hell. I feel all the load’s been laid on my shoulders. While it’s true that I get mad at him for being a drunkard and for being irresponsible not only to us but also to himself, I can’t help but be afraid at what might be happening next. Cash is low. I haven’t even paid the hard disk yet — and here comes another inevitable expense — whatever it is. I want to just disappear for a while and bring my kids with me to wherever that peaceful place might be and rest my weary self — even for a while. But I know that no matter how strong my resolve is to leave, I can’t do it. I know I can’t leave my father in the lurch. I know I will always be haunted at what might happen to him while me and the kids are somewhere else. I still love him despite his many flaws and will always love him not because he is perfect but because he is my father.

Ever since I can remember, I have always been chasing dreams without any plan whatsoever for myself — but for my family — I spent my youth trying to reach my dream and working for a college diploma because I wanted my parents and my siblings to taste a much better life than the impoverished one we have known all so well. When I first had a job, I didn’t even find it that important to buy myself clothes or jewelries or perfumes and shoes — my earnings went to my parents — I only saved enough to last me till the next payday because it made me feel fulfilled to give everything to them. When I met Efren and he expressed his intentions to marry me, I told him I did not need a wealthy or a handsome husband. I told him I needed someone who would understand that I couldn’t just leave my family struggling to make ends meet each day — that I had plans of supporting the college education of my younger brothers and sister. And God has blessed me with an unselfish man who told me he was going to help me financially — and he did. For my sister, we did not support her through college because she got married to an American who has supported her pursuit of education. She is now a nurse. It was my younger brother whom we supported through college till he completed his BS in Criminology. He now works in Manila. Our youngest brother is not studying as he is still waiting for the petition papers to be approved. I am now supporting my cousin —- the son of my uncle who sent me through college — an act of gratitude to an uncle who had been generous enough to have made me what I am today because my father can not. It’s too much, you would say, but perhaps I am created this way. I couldn’t just look at someone who needs my help and then pretend I did not see and look the other way.

But there are times when I wish I were stoic enough to not care what happens around me — to pretend I am unaffected; to really feel nothing and not be affected by anything. But when will it happen? This is one of those days…but when will that day come when I will see my father lying there feeling so sick and I would simply shrug my shoulders and say, “He deserves what he is going through.”? When can I truly say I am leaving him to fend for himself and not feel guilty or anything? And why have I been born to a culture that upholds close family ties?

I feel foolish asking all these questions because I know that what I am and who I am and where I am at the present is predestined by God. I feel foolish because I know everything works according to a Divine Plan and yet I am asking for the rationale of things which I couldn’t even comprehend. It’s just that I am weary. I want to rest for a while and pretend that am not affected — that I am a different person who can be indifferent and unfeeling — someone different from the person that I really am.

I feel so weary… my heart feels so heavy. It’s late in the night and I hope, the morning to come will usher in a better day. I hope… I have faith…

I am faithful to a faithful God… and I am looking up to Him in faith and laying out my weary heart for Him to carry.

And I seem to hear God say, “If life were perfect, would you still know me?”

Outside Looking In December 11, 2008

Have you ever been in a situation where you ask yourself if you really know who you are and what you are? Has there been a time in your life when you felt that someone other than the “you” you have known for long acted and spoke like someone you did not know at all?

And was there ever a time when you were forced to give in… to act differently from the person you see yourself to be because you had to? Was there ever that certain time when you have put off everything that would bring you happiness because someone expected it of you? And every time things like these happen, have you felt that deep sense of self alienation because you behaved in a way which was so unlike you at all?

I guess, most of us go through those situations and most often, we do them because we are driven by forces beyond our control… or that, the situation might be dictated by a life and death circumstance — and not necessarily for the satisfaction of someone else.

Sometimes, while looking at my reflection on the mirror, I wonder if a person other than the one I have known myself to be resides behind the face which I call my own. A hidden monster perhaps? Or an angel waiting to emerge from my soul? But then again, it isn’t too rare a situation since everyone goes through this same episode of introspection — of looking into one’s own self in an attempt to discover and uncover the mysteries of his existence. It has been said that there are areas in our personalities that we know nothing about — areas that others know so well. Sometimes, we even feel that our colleagues and our closest friends know us better than we know ourselves. And the more we open up, the more we share of ourselves, facets of our personalities which we haven’t known before emerge — like a butterfly after a painful metamorphosis.

In each stage that we go through, it is most often the failure and the humbling of ourselves which leads us to know more about who we really are. I guess life runs this way; we never really truly learn who we are unless the “introduction” is made courtesy of some humbling incident. And after all is said and done, we look back and say, “Did I really do that?”

I have been traveling life’s uneven pathway for thirty four years and in all those years, I couldn’t really say I have learned everything — for life is a series of lessons that only ends when one finally breathes his last. In my 34 years of existence, I have uncovered and discovered skills and talents that I never knew I had — all because I was forced to; never because it was my choice to look deeper into myself to uncover them and to tap them. Oh well, I am not complaining to have been forced to see the real me and to have tapped those skills which had been hidden deep within because if I wasn’t pushed a bit, I wouldn’t have known the kind of freedom that I now enjoy.

The discovery of one’s true person and of the things that he can do is endless if only one does not limit himself with the face that looks back at him each time he looks at the mirror — for the mirror only reflects the face, but can never show what hides behind the face. The mirror reflects the area which hides the heart, but it can never uncover the fire of emotion that burns so fervently within. The mirror can reflect the head, but it can never expose the endless possibilities of life changing thoughts that simmer within.

To discover one’s true self, one has to start looking in into himself for the discovery of oneself is an endless and sometimes overwhelming pursuit; but it is the only way towards answering the question which one has been asking silently for so long…. WHO AM I???

Conformity December 10, 2008

Far too often, I would hear people say they need to do things in conformity with a prevailing group norm or standard. I see nothing wrong with it. It’s perfectly alright to live within a fixed standard provided that the norm is  for the benefit of everyone concerned.

But when one knows that it isn’t the best of ideas anymore, or when one has noticed that conformity to a certain standard no longer benefits the people whom it caters to, or when majority of the constituents no longer adhere to its ideals and starts to question the existing norm itself, is it still a must to conform just for the sake of conformity?

I just don’t buy the crappy idea that to conform is synonymous with promoting peace because there will always come a time when those who have been forced to stay stoic and anesthetized with threats or other things will remain mute and unmoving. There is a danger that these stoic and mute idealists will one day get too tired of the pretense and just let the flame of anger and discontent loose.

Conformity is good provided that it applies to everyone concerned — not limited to the lowly constituents while the elitist and egoistic leaders appear to be immunized and unaffected by these same norms and standards. If a standard or a norm, be it written or unwritten, is no longer effective and/or selective, it might be best to lift it off because when the normalcy of it all creates a drag in everyone concerned, when the lowly constituents’ patience will snap, all hell will break lose. People will then tend to feel suffocated and might struggle — to be set free — to act without some suffocating and conventional — yet ironically selective norm. Well, I haven’t been a conformist — I sway where the wind blows, but I don’t let it blow me towards where I wouldn’t want to be.

Honesty… A Lonely Word? December 10, 2008

School days will soon be over. In the Philippine educational system, the school year closes with the traditional achievement tests given to students and pupils to measure just how much they learned during the current school year and to measure the effectiveness of teaching and the teaching-learning process.

Personally, I have nothing against this achievement tests if results are derived out of honest achievements. But most often than not, the corruption that is all too evident in government has wormed its way into the educational system as well— that same system which supposedly molds the minds of the youth to become good leaders and productive citizens in the future.

When I was still a student, I have heard my teachers instructing us to share our answers with others who are slow learners so we get a high rating in the achievement test. Back then, I didn’t take much notice. I wasn’t overly confident but I didn’t even try to cheat. If I knew the answers, good. If not, I suffered the consequences by getting low scores. I did the same thing until I graduated in college. When I took the Board Exams, it was still the same “try my best” thing. I made it with fairly good marks without copying from my seat mates. I am trying to pass the same value to my daughter. I tell her to be honest in every test, no matter how she fares. I have told her that an honest zero will always be better than a stolen perfect score. I don’t drive her to achieve more than she possibly can because I want her to enjoy her studies and not make it a burden. But it seems that what I have sown in her, honesty in tests, have been a bit tampered by her teachers — and all because of the quest of a teacher’s lifetime: to make an impressive mark during achievement tests.

I am a teacher too, but I have never ever asked my students to sell their souls to the devil just so I could make a favorable impression to my superiors. I haven’t made it to the top of the ranks. There were years when I was at the bottom, but I graciously accepted the verdict because it was my students’ honest performance. But if all teachers payed the game fair and square, will I still have ranked lowest? During the last meeting that we had in preparation for tomorrow’s Regional Achievement Test, our head clearly implied that we know what we should do to ensure high ranks when the result will be posted. I told him, “Sir, so we have to sacrifice morality in exchange for mock academic excellence?” He said it’s all up to us. Oh well, this is a free country and I choose the road less taken. He tells us that teachers whose students get a mean score of below 35% will undergo training all over again. Fine, I say.

Numbers, they say, don’t lie. But in times like these, I can safely say that they do. Mean scores don’t stand for the real achievements of students…for if the high mean scores weren’t achieved through fraudulent means, the educational quality of this country wouldn’t have been as pathetic as it is at present.

I am not washing my hands because I am a part of the system and whatever stain the system has, I have also been indirectly smeared by it. I am just a pissed off at having to hear from my daughter that to copy from a seat mate is acceptable if it is to ensure a high mark in the achievement tests.

Ah, honesty… where hast thou gone???

These Pesky Solicitation Letters December 10, 2008

When we talk about solicitations, I can’t help but feel uneasy or embarrassed each time I hand out a solicitation letter to someone. I am not really a stingy, selfish and ungrateful bitch, but at times, I can be all three.

Let’s face it, folks. These are economically critical times and solicitations, though not really that bad to think, isn’t as good to ponder either. What we earn barely compensates for our needs so, anything extra which supposedly goes to the imaginary savings account is handed over to organizations, government agencies and religious organizations who rob people out of their hard earned money straight in the face. I don’t call it selfishness. I wouldn’t call it stinginess either. I call it practicality. Oh yes, what we possess are blessings we receive from God. But most often than not, what He gives are but enough to answer for our needs. Unfortunately though, there are people who make an imaginary inventory of what we earn and decide that we earn more than what we need. Granted that what they think is true, do they ever make a mental calculation of our household maintenance as well? I guess, they don’t…

We abhor corruption in government, but it is us who teach our officials to steal a few thousand bucks from the treasury because if truth were known, these people could barely live on their salaries alone. Everyday, tons of these pesky solicitations arrive at their table … of course, with the notion of those who solicit that they be given a big amount since the person whom they have solicited from is a big official. Let’s just think that an official earns 20,000 pesos and receives an average of 10 solicitations a day to which he donates 100 pesos each. That’s one thousand pesos, right? That only happens in a day… How many days are there in a month? Does the official have a family and a social status to maintain? Yes! So where does the poor and misunderstood public official go and what does he do so he can satisfy all the people who think too highly of him? So, if you are fond of soliciting from public officials, chances are you are one of the people who have driven him to steal from the people.

I have nothing against solicitations provided that those who solicit will be considerate enough to plan beforehand and think about all the possible expenses that need to be incurred. If there’s nothing in the savings to support it, then why on earth should we go about doing it? To prove something? To be known to create miracles since we are able to arrive at something without investing a penny but at the expense of the people from whom we have robbed through these inconsiderate solicitations? For me, there’s but one rule of thumb in this: IF YOU CAN NOT FINANCIALLY SUPPORT IT, DON’T DO IT! It’s as simple as that. Filipinos have been known to exist buried in debt because of wanting and coveting things they can not afford, right? If we can learn to make a change in attitude, perhaps, there’s still hope after all. But if we continue with the farce that we are well off even though we are not, then, we are as good as a dead dodo.

School projects and activities are often the reasons for the birth of solicitation letters. Teachers aren’t allowed to solicit, but the PTCA and the student government can. Most of the time, they are the ones manipulated to pool in funds for school projects and activities. These students study in the public school so it should be the problem of the agency to finance the school’s needs, right? I have been a product of a public school too… I graduated from Ozamiz City National High School. But I don’t remember my Alma Mater meeting the PTCA to contribute sky high amount to finance for a new school building, a stage or whatever. We made do with the not too conducive classrooms, the not so good chairs … we made do with what we had. If there were improvements given by the local government, good, but if there’s none, it wasn’t much of a problem. I am no perfectionist. I consider myself a realist because the economic crisis that everyone feels at the moment is as real as breathing itself.

Some give more solicitation letters to people whose relatives reside in other countries. But if one is only well informed, if one reads magazines and watch TV, he’ll realize that the economic recession is a global scenario which has led to major lifestyle change even to the people in elite United States. So what makes us think they are better off? Just because their money can be multiplied forty-nine times in the Philippines does not mean to say they are well off. They have to work their butt off in the US with some even putting in three jobs to live decently.

Do I solicit? Yes, I do.

I have been compelled to write solicitation letters — have been given letters to distribute to others, but each time, I ended up putting in unreal names because I get the money from my own pocket. It’s not that I have a lot of money. In fact, there are times when I go to a loan shark to finance my needs… and it is this fact that makes me feel the total hilariousness of solicitations. I have my salary and my husband earns as well, but even with our two incomes together, we aren’t financially well off. So what difference does it have on people who have the same lifestyle as I have? They, too, have difficulty making ends meet. So, if I can make their lives a bit better by sparing them those pesky solicitation letters that rid them of 5 kilos of NFA rice if they give in their precious one hundred pesos, I do the sacrifice of fishing the amount from my own pocket .

Let’s be considerate for once. It’s better to give than to receive, of course. But if everything you earn is not enough for your needs, is it still better to give? I think not, because no matter how noble your motive is, I know you will never be able to give heartily. And no matter how much you pretend, your heat and your conscience will always know.

And so, let me state this as clearly as I can:

KUNG DILI KAYA, AYAW GUD PAKAARON INGNON!