Oasis of Love? December 14, 2008

The annual Oasis of Love will soon be held once again —

Oasis of Love — what a nice picture to conjure. An oasis is a presence of water and plants in a desert. So an oasis of love must be something which transcends the spiritual realm. It must be a refuge of those whose faith have dried up by reintroducing it to the real fountain of LOVE himself — GOD. I wonder if the Oasis of Love was able to live up to this ideal….

I have been employed here for six years and within that period of time; I haven’t been to any Oasis of Love gatherings. Oh, there were always those “checking of attendance” chuchus and “being asked to explain why one did not attend” blahblahs, but who cares? I am Catholic, but I haven’t made myself a member of the Oasis of Love — neither do I have plans of being a member in the coming days. My school head says it’s compulsory, I’m sorry but I beg to disagree.

Why?

The 1987 Constitution of the Philippines declares: The separation of Church and State shall be inviolable. (Article II, Section 6), and, No law shall be made respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. The free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship, without discrimination or preference, shall forever be allowed. No religious test shall be required for the exercise of civil or political rights. (Article III, Section 5).

There’s more …

Article 2 of the 1987 Constitution of the Philippines declares separation of church and state. Article 3 forbids the government from passing any law concerning religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, guarantees free exercise of religion and forbids the use of any religious test for public office. Churches and religious institutions are tax-exempt. No public money may be spent in support of any religion. The teaching of religious classes in public schools is permitted with the written consent of the parent so long as provided there is no cost to the government.

My non-Catholic colleagues and I plan to report to school on that day, since it is a working day. But with what I have read from the Constitution, is it really fair to hold it in a school day when DepEd is a government agency and it is a religious activity?

I am not against religion and moral and spiritual growth. I just hate seeing those saintly looking __________  gathered together —

The reason for the reaction started years ago …

I remember when as an adolescent living in Ozamiz City, there were religious barangay organizations known as GSK’s (Gagmayng Simbahananong Katilingban). Each week, these small groups would gather for prayer meetings. But instead of the prayers and reflections, instead of God’s glorification, the attendees would criticize the members who weren’t present. The practice went on for a few months … then I started refusing to attend. I couldn’t see any point in hypocrisy, I am sorry. I know God doesn’t enjoy it one bit, either.

Anyway, no matter how much other people claim godliness and religiousness, in the end, the best judge of character, good works and clean heart will never be those religious bigwigs and the spiritual trying hards who talk and act as though they are the most learned (pronounce: ler-ned) where spirituality and religion are concerned, but the God of Fairness, Justice and Love.

I am not religious…never have been, never will be. But I can boast of my faith. Being religious doesn’t necessarily mean faithfulness anyway and faithfulness can’t also be manifested by being religious….

I AM ME! December 12, 2008

I love these lines from the song ” You’ve Got A Friend”

Hey ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend
When people can be so cold
They’ll hurt you and desert you
They’ll take your soul if you let them
But don’t you let them

I am me, nothing more, nothing less.

I think for myself, decide for myself and speak for myself. If I agree, I say so. If I don’t, I say so or just go my way and leave no trace at all.

I don’t necessarily want everyone to agree with me or take my side on issues because basically, they are just issues to contend with — to face as a demon to be fought or an eye opening saga which would ultimately lead to betterment of the self.

I don’t do things because it’s the “in” thing. I do everything for a friend but never to the extent of losing my self respect and losing perspective of the things I believe in.

I wage my own war and fight it to the finish knowing there is no other way for the war to be won.

I stand for my ideals no matter how feeble they may appear to others because they’re an extension of the person that I am.

I may not be the best Christian… it’s arrogance to do so for only God can rightfully judge my faith. But I believe in a God who is just and fair. And I believe that only God brings to me those blessings which are my fair share.

I couldn’t boast of anything for they aren’t mine — they’re blessings. Circumstances have conspired to make me what I am and therefore, I remain as I am.

And….

I am your friend.

I can be your friend, but in every friendship I have, I can only give what I have…I can only be me.

If you want a friend who speaks her mind and is not afraid to create ripples in the process, by all means keep me — even if I am not first prize material. But if you want someone whose ideals you can easily bend to satisfy your every whim, by all means dump me…

I might be hurt, but like everything else, the sting will subside. In a day or two, I can move on and say, “I thank God for the friendship I have known with you.”

I might be bitter, but no… I should not be feeling that way because a friend respects another friend’s point of view.

I remain to be me… for there’s no other way that I can ever be.

Outside Looking In December 11, 2008

Have you ever been in a situation where you ask yourself if you really know who you are and what you are? Has there been a time in your life when you felt that someone other than the “you” you have known for long acted and spoke like someone you did not know at all?

And was there ever a time when you were forced to give in… to act differently from the person you see yourself to be because you had to? Was there ever that certain time when you have put off everything that would bring you happiness because someone expected it of you? And every time things like these happen, have you felt that deep sense of self alienation because you behaved in a way which was so unlike you at all?

I guess, most of us go through those situations and most often, we do them because we are driven by forces beyond our control… or that, the situation might be dictated by a life and death circumstance — and not necessarily for the satisfaction of someone else.

Sometimes, while looking at my reflection on the mirror, I wonder if a person other than the one I have known myself to be resides behind the face which I call my own. A hidden monster perhaps? Or an angel waiting to emerge from my soul? But then again, it isn’t too rare a situation since everyone goes through this same episode of introspection — of looking into one’s own self in an attempt to discover and uncover the mysteries of his existence. It has been said that there are areas in our personalities that we know nothing about — areas that others know so well. Sometimes, we even feel that our colleagues and our closest friends know us better than we know ourselves. And the more we open up, the more we share of ourselves, facets of our personalities which we haven’t known before emerge — like a butterfly after a painful metamorphosis.

In each stage that we go through, it is most often the failure and the humbling of ourselves which leads us to know more about who we really are. I guess life runs this way; we never really truly learn who we are unless the “introduction” is made courtesy of some humbling incident. And after all is said and done, we look back and say, “Did I really do that?”

I have been traveling life’s uneven pathway for thirty four years and in all those years, I couldn’t really say I have learned everything — for life is a series of lessons that only ends when one finally breathes his last. In my 34 years of existence, I have uncovered and discovered skills and talents that I never knew I had — all because I was forced to; never because it was my choice to look deeper into myself to uncover them and to tap them. Oh well, I am not complaining to have been forced to see the real me and to have tapped those skills which had been hidden deep within because if I wasn’t pushed a bit, I wouldn’t have known the kind of freedom that I now enjoy.

The discovery of one’s true person and of the things that he can do is endless if only one does not limit himself with the face that looks back at him each time he looks at the mirror — for the mirror only reflects the face, but can never show what hides behind the face. The mirror reflects the area which hides the heart, but it can never uncover the fire of emotion that burns so fervently within. The mirror can reflect the head, but it can never expose the endless possibilities of life changing thoughts that simmer within.

To discover one’s true self, one has to start looking in into himself for the discovery of oneself is an endless and sometimes overwhelming pursuit; but it is the only way towards answering the question which one has been asking silently for so long…. WHO AM I???

Befriending the Will of the Wind December 10, 2008

This is one of those times when again, I am into a reflective mood and mode — times when the pen just seems to take me by the hand and point me to a blank page where I can scribble the thoughts that are running loose in my head —

Oh well, I remember all too clearly the lyrics of a popular song from my high school years. The song was titled “The Will of the Wind” and if my fuzzy and forgetful mind can correctly remember, it was sung by Jim Photoglo.

Here goes my most favorite lines:

The will of the wind
You feel it and then it will pass you blowing steady
It comes and it goes, but God only knows
You must keep your sails on ready
For when it begins, you must befriend the will of the wind

As we journey through life, we learn that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, things just seem to fall out of hand. Some things just don’t work according to plan and when this happens, we often get disillusioned and bitter. I have traveled through this same road countless of times, but it just seems that I haven’t learned to give in to fate — to be pliant to destiny. No matter how many times I have been slapped by the fact that things don’t always work according to how I would want them to work, my stubbornness leads me to believe otherwise; thus, making me hurt and bitter and disillusioned. You can call me the most stubborn mule there ever is and right now, I still see no sign of one day changing this self defeating attitude. Maybe one day, I can finally learn to take control over my idealism — to learn to accept that things don’t always happen the way I want them to happen.

Hard as it sounds, it’s befriending the will of the wind that proves difficult because most often, human pride gets us all blinded and too hard headed. We shout expletives when things don’t work out as planned… when a speck mars our otherwise impeccable existence. We wallow in self pity and blame ourselves for goals that haven’t been achieved. We punish ourselves for things that we otherwise couldn’t have helped because of the simple fact that they weren’t meant to be. Yeah, we make our lives so miserable because we failed at something. But have we even thought about the possibility that these things failed because from the start, they weren’t meant to happen after all?

Each time a storm rages in our lives, we have but two choices: to be like the oak who buckled against the wind and which ultimately got uprooted or choose to be like the bamboo which pliantly swayed and bent towards where the wind willed it to — and the one who stood proud and tall after the unmerciful onslaught of the strongest winds.

It doesn’t feel good at all to give in because for most of us, giving in is synonymous with giving up and acknowledging weakness. But sometimes, life can play a hard joke especially on the proud and mighty because there are times in life when the hardest battle can only be won by giving in.

Now, who am I fooling? I, myself, need a dose of this realization because I have difficulty accepting that things don’t always work in my favor. I need to learn how to bend — to swallow my pride sometimes no matter how tasteless it is so I can be a complete person. It doesn’t sound easy, but it can be done. I face a battle against myself — I also know most of my readers fight the same losing battle. I know it would possibly take years to conquer. It might even take a lifetime.

It isn’t easy to befriend the will of the wind, but perhaps it’s a good start to have realized that unless one is pliant, he can never be truly successful in conquering himself and others — for it is only when one has conquered his greatest enemy — his own pride — that all doors to success can be open to him.

Honesty… A Lonely Word? December 10, 2008

School days will soon be over. In the Philippine educational system, the school year closes with the traditional achievement tests given to students and pupils to measure just how much they learned during the current school year and to measure the effectiveness of teaching and the teaching-learning process.

Personally, I have nothing against this achievement tests if results are derived out of honest achievements. But most often than not, the corruption that is all too evident in government has wormed its way into the educational system as well— that same system which supposedly molds the minds of the youth to become good leaders and productive citizens in the future.

When I was still a student, I have heard my teachers instructing us to share our answers with others who are slow learners so we get a high rating in the achievement test. Back then, I didn’t take much notice. I wasn’t overly confident but I didn’t even try to cheat. If I knew the answers, good. If not, I suffered the consequences by getting low scores. I did the same thing until I graduated in college. When I took the Board Exams, it was still the same “try my best” thing. I made it with fairly good marks without copying from my seat mates. I am trying to pass the same value to my daughter. I tell her to be honest in every test, no matter how she fares. I have told her that an honest zero will always be better than a stolen perfect score. I don’t drive her to achieve more than she possibly can because I want her to enjoy her studies and not make it a burden. But it seems that what I have sown in her, honesty in tests, have been a bit tampered by her teachers — and all because of the quest of a teacher’s lifetime: to make an impressive mark during achievement tests.

I am a teacher too, but I have never ever asked my students to sell their souls to the devil just so I could make a favorable impression to my superiors. I haven’t made it to the top of the ranks. There were years when I was at the bottom, but I graciously accepted the verdict because it was my students’ honest performance. But if all teachers payed the game fair and square, will I still have ranked lowest? During the last meeting that we had in preparation for tomorrow’s Regional Achievement Test, our head clearly implied that we know what we should do to ensure high ranks when the result will be posted. I told him, “Sir, so we have to sacrifice morality in exchange for mock academic excellence?” He said it’s all up to us. Oh well, this is a free country and I choose the road less taken. He tells us that teachers whose students get a mean score of below 35% will undergo training all over again. Fine, I say.

Numbers, they say, don’t lie. But in times like these, I can safely say that they do. Mean scores don’t stand for the real achievements of students…for if the high mean scores weren’t achieved through fraudulent means, the educational quality of this country wouldn’t have been as pathetic as it is at present.

I am not washing my hands because I am a part of the system and whatever stain the system has, I have also been indirectly smeared by it. I am just a pissed off at having to hear from my daughter that to copy from a seat mate is acceptable if it is to ensure a high mark in the achievement tests.

Ah, honesty… where hast thou gone???

Spiritual Recharging: How Do You Do It? December 10, 2008

So, how does one undergo spiritual recharge?

The question is plainly crazy but for me, it is something I have though about ever since that fateful day when I realized that evil attacks are everywhere. For some, they find comfort in attending religious congregations and gatherings. Still for others, they find reading religious materials and the Bible spiritually uplifting. Others find it best to lend a helping hand to the needy…to be of service to their fellow human beings who are in need. Lately, I have found that the best way for me to recharge my spirit is to sing praises to God. Once I start hitting note after note, it feels as though an invisible hand touches my heart and make s me feel invincible and strong beyond my imagination.

The paranormal situation I have witnessed might have been too frightening to contemplate, but spiritually, it enabled me to really assess just how much I am worth when placed at the foot of my Creator’s altar. I find myself still lacking in too many things. I have always known I have great faith. In fact, I have been healed by God through my unwavering faith, but sometimes, God sends in something out of the ordinary to test just how much of a hypocrite a person has been. And perhaps, I just might have been a hypocrite trying to pretend to be a Christian. If I wasn’t shaken to the core, I wouldn’t have known the real score. Despite the horror of that day, I still find myself thanking God for choosing me as one of the witnesses of that occurrence because I was able to see myself and with seeing myself came the acceptance that I am but a flawed sinner who needs my Creator, who needs the guidance of my God to lead me towards where He rightfully wants me to be.

I feel there’s more to this than what meets the eye. I mean something I can see with my mind’s eye…. I wish some people would understand that I do see things that some people would regard as funny and unbelievable. But I experience what I experience and I see visual results of what I see in my mind, but there are times when I wish I couldn’t foresee what is bound to happen because I am frightened to see them really happening. I feel there’s more to me than just the mother, wife, teacher, friend, daughter… because I see myself amidst people and I see myself using my voice to glorify my Maker. I am more confused than ever, but I am also confident that God, in His perfect time, will show me how to use this gift of foresight so I can be of help to His people.

Oh… before I get even more confused, am going to wrap this blog up so I can have my spiritual recharge….. SINGING PRAISES!

Is It Really About God or About Pride? December 10, 2008

I remember having listened to various religious debates while growing up in Ozamiz City. Sometimes I would hear it in OsRox Park or in front of the old public market. Two or more local religious leaders would argue about certain verses and would try to point out proofs of those verses and it appeared to me that they really wanted to glorify God — but why did they have to do it by making each other appear insignificant or lacking in knowledge or seemingly ignorant of the written texts in the Bible. Looking back into what I witnessed more than twenty years before, what I used to consider faithful service to God by preaching the gospel to a throng of undiscerning passers by who are too busy pursuing their own personal businesses than to listen heartily to the arguing religious leaders now appears to be arrogance. They used to appear saintly to me for having memorized almost every written verse in the Bible, but if I look at them now, the picture of godliness has turned sour and dour. Faith can not be preached by word of mouth alone. It must be made credible and alive through visible works of the hand, cleanliness and purity of heart and one’s relationship with a fellow Christian regardless of religious affiliation.

Let’s face it folks, too many religious congregations have been sprouting here and there. Well and good. If the primary motive is to spread the word of God and promote peace, understanding and harmony within the human race, then everything would have been for the glorification of God. But if a congregation does it by badmouthing another religious group and claiming to be the only group to have known the meaning of salvation and the only group who can ascertain salvation at judgment day to the point of treating other people like they have communicable diseases, I am not sold out to it. Why? Because no matter how any religious leader would phrase it, I am certain of only one thing: No matter how diverse the ways each and every religious congregation has of glorifying, worshipping and praising God, it doesn’t change the fact that we are all Christians and we are glorifying the same God. If we can not unite ourselves in faith despite the fact that we claim allegiance and dependence on the Christ who has saved us on the Cross, perhaps, it’s high time that we reassess our faith, our religious affiliations and most importantly, our own selves. For the problem, if there is any, might not have lain on the texts we read on the Bible nor the church we have run to as refuge against the snares of the world, but on the motives we hold within our hearts. We might have unknowingly let the seed of pride grow big and mighty inside our hearts until it  outshadowed the radiance of godliness and goodness that lies in each and every one of us sans the stain of PRIDE that the devil has planted within us.

I don’t claim to be too pure of heart either, because just over a month ago, I have had plans of joining another religious affiliation claiming that the Catholic Church could no longer satisfy my spiritual hunger. Well, I used to say these things with an arrogant sneer towards my very religious colleagues who never missed a Wednesday or Sunday mass and who never even bothered to answer my insulting statements. Pride? I should be ashamed to admit it, but I am not. I took pride in the gift of intelligence my Creator has had endowed in me and I forgot the fact that if there is anyone who should be glorified for my intelligence, it should be HIM and not me. I failed to even think that no matter how vast the gift of intellect is, there will always be things that must be left to faith… things that can never be fully comprehended through human understanding alone. I claimed to have disintegrated myself from the Church that has embraced me since birth; further claimed that religious people have caused me to act like this — to feel like this when in fact, if only I had been honest enough, it was but a camouflage of the confusion I suffered deep within. My chosen self alienation from my Church, the Roman Catholic Church, was not anybody’s fault contrary to what I made myself believe. It was my own making… it was a choice I freely made and one which I selfishly blamed on some people. But then, perhaps, it’s human nature after all for everyone would certainly agree that it’s easier to point a finger at someone than to try looking within himself and at himself and see that the fault might really have been lying deeply seated within himself. Well, majority of us has felt that hunch — that gnaw of conscience especially when we are left with no one but our own self for company — but we choose to ignore it because we are afraid to confront the monster that lie within ourselves.

It took a scary event to turn my faith upside down and inside out. I am ashamed to say that I might have provoked my God to show me His presence in some things that I used not to believe in. The evil possessions that happened to my students on August 8, 2008 had been an eye opening and spiritually enhancing experience to me. It was nightmarish, it was scary, I even wished it were all a dream, but I experienced what I experienced and I saw what I saw and with the experience came the realization that despite my claim of great faith and utmost dependence on my Creator, when faced with difficult situations, I still found myself lacking spiritually. If the problem had been financial, it would have been easier to remedy because I could always run to loan sharks for immediate reprieve from financial needs. But when you are faced with an opponent you do not see and one you haven’t fought before, how do you fight it? Are you even sure you could outwit and outsmart it? Some of you might read me with a smirk on the face… or simply close the page vowing never to read me again, but then, it’s your choice and it isn’t my loss if you do. I am only sharing my experience in the hope that you can learn from my mistake.

I used not to believe in the rosary thinking that the mysteries are simply taken by the Catholic Church too literally. I used not to have that much faith in the holy water nor in the holy salt because I thought they are but feeble protections from evil entities. But I believed in the cross as most Christians regardless of religious affiliation believe in it. During that scary event, I was proven wrong over and over again. The possessed students screamed for the rosaries to be taken off because they burned on them. They spit the holy water that the priest made them drink because it was very hot. They couldn’t grasp the holy salt because of its heat. If you think I am making this all up, I tell you I wish I am. I wish I did not have to sit a mere 2 meters from the church altar watching the exorcism going on. I wish I did not have to go through the fear and the nightmare, but God had greater plans for me, perhaps. He loved me enough to scare me so I will see just how strong the church he built is. He loved me enough to humble me and make me accept my frailty and confess my shortcomings. When I got home that afternoon, for the first time in my 35 years of existence, I prayed the rosary. The following day, I got an appointment with my parish priest and confessed my shortcomings and reconciled with the Catholic Church.

I am but a humbled Christian who couldn’t claim to be perfect in faith and character. In fact, I find myself lacking in a lot of things, but who isn’t? I am still a toddler in faith and desperately in need of my Father’s protection and guidance so I wouldn’t stumble and backslide again.

I remember what I have read in a gospel booklet I had the read:

As the time of Christ’s second coming draws near, we should put aside all religious biases and work together as united children of God who are worthy to be called “CHRISTIANS.

So, why aren’t we united in Christ? Why do we bad mouth another religious congregation so we can uphold our own affiliation? Why do we need to sever our ties with the other people in the belief that they are inferior to us? If our religious affiliation isolates us from other Christians, does it make it superior … does it make us superior and nearer to the Christ? If we had been a loyal follower but a foul neighbor; a diligent religious worker who can’t lend a hand to a relative in need, an active preacher but a monstrous and selfish master, can the Christ whom we so shamelessly pledge our faith to really take joy in what we do? I don’t think so because He doesn’t look at the work of the hand… God looks at the motive that has driven us to do what we have done.

Having graduated in a secular institution, I remember my teacher saying that the real church of God isn’t a building. The real house of God is within each and every one of us … it is within our hearts. And for us to really house Christ within our hearts, we need to let go of our extra baggages of pride, prejudices and hypocrisy.

You think your religion is superior and its followers the only people eligible for Christ’s salvation? Well, that’s your belief, brother and sister. But before you drown yourself in such self righteousness, could you please spare a few moments to ponder and ask yourself if what you believe in is for the ultimate glory of God … or simply for feeding your hungry pride…..

The Pursuit For Truth December 10, 2008

Oftentimes in our travel through this winding road we call life, we arrive at intersections we haven’t been to before, meet people whom we can choose to influence us in ways no other ever can and be the person whom we ultimately choose to be based on how we perceive life is – based on our own interpretation of truth or how truth has been interpreted (or misinterpreted) by people whom we have idolized to suit their own personal and selfish gains. The pursuit for truth, in it’s noblest sense and ideal leads to enlightenment for those who pray for Divine guidance and wisdom, but most often than not, the result is misconception and confusion in people who rely all too much on their imperfect human judgment alone — confusion that manifests in a man’s harsh judgment toward beliefs and paradoxes contrary to what one has learned from a certain idol — be the idol a close friend, an influential artist or a charismatic religious leader.

How does the dictionary give meaning to the word truth? If we base it on the basic truth of life, it could mean the ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience. If we deal with what is likely to be perceived by the simple human judgment, it is the conformity with fact or reality . In mathematics, it is a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like. And when we talk about truth, we deal with three of its most important prerequisites: honesty, integrity, and truthfulness.

I am writing this observation relative to man’s wavering faith. Generally, man comes at a point in his life when, in his pursuit of worldly fame and fortune, he forgets that he has cast aside his spiritual side and that he has unknowingly strayed far from the Maker who has blessed him with everything he so desired. Amidst the glory brought about by worldly gains, man feels a deep longing — a hunger — a void which he doesn’t know how to fill or satiate. Oftentimes, man seeks refuge in religion to find certainty to his nagging doubts, to assuage his fears, to find answers to his unanswered questions. For the man of feeble faith, he could go from one congregation to another and when he couldn’t find what he is looking for, when he couldn’t find in there his own perception of what God really is, what he perceives TRUTH to be, or if one is truthful enough, when the religion he affiliates with fails to feed his hungry ego, he blames the religion and goes in search of another congregation that feeds him with yet another series of lies until he is unmercifully awakened by God who gives him a few spiritual nudges which man, in his folly, misinterprets as another sign to jump to another wandering flock. The same cycle goes on and on — a cycle which, instead of bringing one closer to God and humanity, creates a wall of indifference and hatred towards another human being.

I have stated this line before and I feel the need to state it again: THERE ARE TIMES WHEN ALL WE CAN DO IS LOOK UP TO GOD IN FAITH; NOT IN UNDERSTANDING. True. Too many facets of Christianity do not rely on actual evidence and existence of factual scenes alone because we are talking about our own personal relationship with our GOD. It is along this context that we can understand why religion and science can never go hand in hand. In science, seeing is believing; in religion, believing is seeing. Although we can not discredit the advantages of scientific and technological breakthroughs which have led us to this age of computers, it has also unknowingly made us less of the Christian we should have been. We have been blessed with too much and yet we fail to glorify the One who has given us too much. Who is to blame? Some religious leaders who, despite their human frailty, try to delve too much deeper into the words of God and gives it their own judgment — judgment that do not necessarily have to glorify God but to feed their self created notion of what should be and what should not be? The same leaders who, with hidden motives steal their followers of  money and  possessions by feeding them with their own preconceived notion of THE TRUTH? The same leaders who, little by little, separate their followers from fellow human beings to ensure that their mine of gold will not be snatched away from them? There really is a big fountain of wealth in religion, but selfish is he who taps it at the expense of the unknowing members who are made to believe that everything is for the glorification of God.

But why does it always have to go to a point when man, in his confusion and lack of faith, is so much prone to switching into another group? It is because of the simple fact that man is easiest to thwart and deceive at this crucial moment in his life. When tragedies and trials fall like torrents of rain, a man of feeble faith runs to find refuge anywhere — and I really mean, anywhere. And here comes a wolf in sheep’s clothing who makes the person believe that the misfortunes that befell him is caused by his religion’s wrong way of worshipping and glorifying God. The confused and dazed mortal then succumbs to the charismatic words because at a point when man is at his lowest ebb and is drifting amidst the turbulent sea of life, he is willing to grasp at any oar just to keep him afloat.

A man who hasn’t known hardship is also prone to the beguiling tongue of the charismatic recruiter. Basking in the confusing lull of the good life, he forgets that there is a life aside from his comfortable shell. He is confused, yes… because despite the steady flow of material blessings, a void remains unfilled. But in God’s time, God will fill the void for those who seek HIM and only He knows how He is going to make it happen in every individual’s life. He made me know Him by scaring me and by showing me that evil spirits and creatures from other dimensions are really existent, but I don’t know how He is going to manifest His presence in other people’s lives because God shows himself in ways that man will understand that it is Him and no other. And I tell you, my friends, when God manifests himself to awaken us in Christian faith; we find that what we believed in could be just the exact opposite of His will.

The pursuit for truth is winding and seemingly endless, but the process is necessary for man to fully grasp the depth of his spirituality. Most often than not, we are beguiled, we are tossed and torn and at some points, God feels the need to break us so He can create a new person in us. Lucifer, whose name literally means son of the morning or light bearer, could lead us astray by bringing in a charismatic person (light bearer?) to sway us into believing that he knows the truth and will lead us towards achieving the truth. Remember that PRIDE caused his downfall and if man doesn’t part with his pride, chances are, he is prone to succumb to the lures of the devil because he knows where to hit him — the mind — man’s reason. Lucifer couldn’t dominate the heart because it is where the temple of the True God exists in each and every one of us regardless of religion, race, political ideology or color.

The Entertainer December 10, 2008

I am sorry if instead of coming over here to be entertained, you will find the lady of the house experiencing some “not so good” moments lately. For someone who tries to put laughter into everyone’s lives each day even when she hurts inside, for someone who opens up as much as I can, I found myself needing a good dose of much needed laughter—real, hearty laughter lately. And I have hidden MY TRUE FEELINGS behind the pictures I am posting on my page because it’s much safer that way. But I feel that although they are a part of me, they are not me; just something I do or something I have to do because … just because.

I am a bit lost and I feel like living in a world where nothing but hypocrisy exists; that everything is but a facade…and i have to be careful in dealing with everything because they might cause me to become even more lost, even more hurt , even more broken than i already am…

I have simply been myself. Can’t they see that? I have simply been doing things in the way I know how. Does it have to be pretense every time I express myself? Does anyone ever get tired of seeing only the painted front and never take a glimpse of the decaying backside? Do I have to do things halfheartedly so I won’t be misunderstood of being too arrogant?

I am not perfect nor do I claim to be one. But who is? Can anyone alive ever honestly claim perfection without sabotaging his relationship with the One and Only True Perfect Being which is God Himself? I am a human being with a lot of flaws and I am not ashamed of those flaws…the bad attitudes, the bad moods, the scars, the bulges, everything! And I don’t care about them because they are but secondary compared to what’s inside me… but I have often been misunderstood for my compassion. I have been called a show off for pointing out something that needs to be done and changed. I have been called arrogant because I feel the need to assert myself. Damn them! Do I have to hide myself inside the safe shell of indifference so I will not be affected ever again by the negative things I hear? But will my life ever find meaning if I live a life alien to me for conformity’s sake?

If I am not free to express myself, if I can not let into the light of day what I so fervently believe in, because of the fear that I am to be judged unfairly, will my world ever be the peaceful world I dream it to be? The answer, my heart tells me, is NO! A big NO!

Why should I care what negative things people say? Why should I cease being myself just so I could create a positive impression? Oh, heck! I am not in for the pretense. I am simply being myself and they have only two choices: take me or drop me off like the hot potato! And if those jerks do not like what I am doing and judge me unfairly, well, I’m beyond caring. I might get emotionally affected, but I have long ago decided never to let people’s negativity towards me affect myself and my views on life…

And in the end, it is not what people see in me or say about me when they interact with me that matters…it’s what GOD sees inside my heart. Right now, I am filled with hurts, disappointments and all those things. But I have great faith In God to know that He is allowing these things to happen to me because He has great faith in me….

These lines from s book I have read reflect what I am feeling best:

“GOD has dealt with me this way. Loving me more than any harpist loves his harp. He finds me nothing but harsh, discordant sounds. He plucks my heartstrings with torturing anguish. Tenderly leaning over me, He strikes the strings and listens. Hearing only a harsh murmur, He strikes me again. His heart bleeds for me when He anxiously waits to hear the strain, “Not my will, but yours be done.” And he will never cease from striking the strings of my heart until my humbled and disciplined soul blends with all pure and eternal harmonies of His own being…”

This feeling doesn’t last, believe me. And whenever I feel this way, I only run to the Best Friend I have known to be the most faithful throughout the ages… GOD.

He knows what caused me to feel this way, He has allowed these things to happen to me for His own Divine Plan…and all I ever have to do is to look up to Him in faith, not in understanding, because there are many things I will never understand. Only my Faith can lead me toward the answers…

Better Teach A Cat To Speak… Will It Ever Learn? December 10, 2008

A history teacher was preparing for the day’s lesson about Ancient Mesopotamia. Because no good books are available, the teacher printed pictures from the computer the day before — visual aids for topics she was yet to introduce to her classes.

Finally, the bell rang to signal the start of classes. Students soon filled the hallway and entered her classroom …and the session for the day began.

The teacher was excited and of course, confident that everything will turn out right because she has prepared for the day’s lesson.

“Good afternoon, dear students,” the teacher cheerfuly asked.

“Good afternoon, ma’am.” replied the students.

“How are you today?” the teacher asked, attempting to establish rapport with her students.

Most of the students answered, “Oh, fine, ma’am!”

“Does that mean everyone’s ready for today’s lesson?”

“Yes, ma’am!”, the students readily replied.

Confident with her preparation and further motivated by the students’ evident enthusiasm, the teacher started her day’s session.

“Yesterday, we discussed about the Age of Metals. As a review, who among you can name the metals that were discovered by the early humans?”

A student raised his hand. It was Doliver.

“Yes, Doliver,” acknowledged the teacher.

“The metals discovered by the earliest humans were copper, bronze and iron.” Doliver answered.

“Very good, Doliver!” was the teacher’s comment. “You are correct. You really took note of yesterday’s lesson. “

“You have been discussing about metals in your Chemistry class. In Chemistry, you have learned that matter are could be in the liquid, gas, or solid phases. And you must also have learned that most metals are solid… but are all metals in the solid phase?

The class was clearly confused. Some answered yes, some answered no and majority just gave the teacher a blank stare…

So as not to waste time, the teacher just supplied the information instead.” Not all metals are solid. There is, in fact, one well-known metal in the liquid phase. The name of this metal starts with the letter M.”

Kenneth, another vibrant student, raised his hand,” Oh, I know what that metal is, ma’am. it’s Manganese !”

The teacher’s expression changed from serious to playful. Instead of getting angry, she told Kenneth, “Of course not, Kenneth. We are not talking about manganese here.”

Kenneth scratched his head, sheepishly smiled and went back to his seat. Cricyl, who was sitting at the back, raised her hand. The teacher called her, ” OK, Cricyl. Go ahead… What’s your answer?”

Confidently, the girl said, “Mercury!”

“Very good, Cricyl. Your answer is correct!” said the teacher. “Mercury is the metal we are talking about in here. And you know what, class, mercury is used in a particular medical instrument. This instrument is used to measure temperature. Do you know what this is?

The class, once again, became quiet. Not one of the students wanted to say a word.

To give a clue, the teacher rephrased the question, “What do you put in your underarm when you have fever so you will know your temperature? “

The ever vibrant Kenneth raised his hand again.

“Yes, Kenneth, what do you put on your underarm when you have fever so you will know your temperature?” said the teacher.

“Rexona, ma’am!” Kenneth replied.

The teacher was taken aback. Rexona was an underarm deodorant!

What followed was a roar of laughter from the class. Left with no choice, the teacher laughd with them.

“No, Kenneth. What you put under your arms to get your temperature is a thermometer.. not an underarm deodorant.” the teacher informed the boy.

As soon as the class settled and the laughter died off, the teacher proceeded to introduce the intended lesson… about Ancient Mesopotamia.

After the necessary introductions and motivation, the teacher said,” You have already met this topic in your Second Year . So, this is but a sort of review. I bet everyone is very much well versed with the topic… Anyone here who can tell me what he/ she remembers about Ancient Mesopotamia?”

Everyone seemed unsure all of a sudden. None of the students would look at the teacher in the eye.

Thinking he was right, Pwpito, a tall and lanky student gave an answer, ” A kind of polygon, ma’am!”

Oh, my God! Ancient Mesopotamia? A kind of polygon?

The teacher felt funny and sick all of a sudden. But instead of bursting into an angry tirade, she just smiled, her face showing a lot of different expressions. Sensing the situation the teacher was in, the class, once again, broke into a roar of laughter, including Pepito.

Amidst comic antics and all, the teacher, so as not to demoralize the students who apparently had no idea what the discussion was all about, provided her students with necessary information and proceeded with her lesson, hoping that everything will turn out right this time.

And things did turn out right… for a while.

The discussion finally moved forward with the teacher doing most of the talking while the students sat sleepily on their seats… To do away with the monotony, every once in a while, the poor teacher asked questions for the students to react to. The discussion was relatively smoothsailing until the topic veered off to the contributions of Ancient Mesopotamia.

The teacher said, “One of the contributions of Ancient Mesopotamia is the cuneiform system of writing. Historians claim that it is one of the first, if not the first system of writing ever invented. This writing composed mainly of pictographs engraved on clay tablets…. do you have any idea what clay tablets are?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Bryan said.

“So, what is a clay tablet, Bryan?”

“Paracetamol!” the student proudly answered.

My goodness! Paracetamol???!!! What does paracetamol have to do with clay tablets?

Whew! What a teaching experience! And I know the story by heart because I am that teacher and that story is my story. And to think that I meet this situation almost everyday….